Review: THE A-TEAM

So, I saw the much-anticipated (by me) film The A-Team today, and it wasn't particularly great. Neither did it suck. I didn't love it, and I didn't hate it. I certainly had fun, but it was the sort of ephemeral fun I probably won't revisit.

I laughed a few times, but something I didn't particularly feel at any moment was thrilled. The action was far too close-ups-and-quick-cuts for my liking, and there was a serious over-reliance on cgi. Put that all together and you have a recipe for an action movie that isn't so great with the action. However, the actors share a nice chemistry and all appear to be having a great time. So, there's that.

It's a very likable movie, but it won't be making any best-of lists at the end of the year. Lower your expectations and catch a matinee showing if you can.

IRON MAN 2 Is Solid and Everything You Should Want in a Sequel

There's grousing out there about the quality of Iron Man 2. Devin of CHUD said it had a saggy second act, which I must have missed, and lots of people have been talking about how it's not very good and how reviews are "mixed", even though it's still tracking solidly fresh at Rotten Tomatoes.

Here's what I want to know: What more do you fucking people want from an Iron Man sequel?

It enlarged the world, it raised the stakes, it featured bigger action beats, the characters were more developed, and the whole thing was wrapped up in Robert Downey Jr.'s inexhaustible reserves of big-screen charisma. It was also more consistently hilarious than most comedies. Again, I ask: what more do you assholes want?

I'm sure you guys have already seen it, but if you haven't, don't hesitate. It's a good time at the movies that won't rot your brain (too much).

Reconsidered: AMERICAN PSYCHO

Every now and then I re-watch a movie, or re-listen to an album I had completely discounted as terrible or worthless, and my opinion completely changes. This happened last night, when the lady and I went to Brewvies, a beer-and-movie place, for a free showing of American Psycho, sponsored by the local alternative weekly newspaper. I wasn't necessarily excited, because I had only seen the film once about ten years ago, and I'd hated it. In fact, I have been telling people for years what a shitty movie American Psycho is, and I was completely certain that this opinion was correct and unshakable.

So, last night, I watched it again, for only the second time ever, and I laughed all through it until the final frame. I fucking loved it. Christian Bale's performance is filled with the sort of risk-taking and high-spirited insanity that he seems of late to have misplaced in the pockets of his Bat-suit, and the script is loaded with great lines and tasty little bits of absurdity and vacuousness.

It is a great movie, clever, satirical, bloody, laugh-inducing, and absolutely amoral. In other words, it's the sort of movie I love.

Or, at least, that I love now.

A decade ago, I guess I was more interested in seeing a straight slasher movie, and the black, black satire must have annoyed me, as did the relative chasteness of the killing scenes. I will admit that I probably didn't even get most of it. I must have been a straight-up moron at 29.

I'm now thinking that I need to grab the DVD of this thing as soon as possible. Bale is fucking legendary in this film, and if nothing else it serves as a reminder of why we all used to be excited about him as an actor.

STATUS: The Pop Ogre Is Approximately One Year Old

I know, because my domain purchase came up for renewal. So that's one year of blogging about popular culture with varying degrees of enthusiasm and punctuality, one year of lists, one year of reviews, one year of my SUPERIOR OPINIONS.

During this time, I flirted with letting other writers contribute (not a success, really), tweaked the adverts for what I thought might be maximum click-through (not a success, really), and had a post commented upon by VHI list-show stalwart and all-around funny guy Michael Ian Black.

My blog has not been a roaring success. I enjoy writing it, and I enjoy the feedback I get from a few friends, but building something and expecting people to come only works for plowing under cornfields to build baseball diamonds, I guess. I haven't really "sold" the blog, generally, and I should probably do that, since I think it's sorta neat.

I've networked a bit, but probably not to the level that one really has to to make it as an entertainment blogger, and admittedly, my dedication to regular updates has been pretty slipshod.

What does this all mean for the future of the Pop Ogre? Well, for starters, I renewed my domain, so I'll be around for at least another year. For secondsies, I'd really like to have a slicker presentation, so I'll be earnestly soliciting for logo submissions, for which I cannot really pay any more than a hearty thank you. For thirdsies, I'm going to try to see more movies, listen to more music, pay more attention to entertainment news, and just try to be less lazy. Maybe I'll actually update the Dangerous Bitches list again some day (not makin' any promises on that one).

Anyway, if you have feedback about things you'd like to see happen here, features you liked or hated, or any random bitching, leave it here or drop me an email at the link on the sidebar.

Thanks for reading, everybody.

Review: HOT TUB TIME MACHINE

Yeah, I wasn't going to see it. I said it looked stupid on my Twitter. I didn't buy the premise. I didn't want to wade through a bunch of retarded 80's jokes.

Well, the retarded 80's jokes are present, but not as prevalent as I was fearing. And, yeah, the premise is still stupid, but it's sort of supposed to be. The important thing about Hot Tub Time Machine is that it remembers to be really, really, funny, and the vast majority of that funny belongs to Mr. Rob Corrdry.

Welcome to movie stardom, Rob.

You all know the high concept: four guys accidentally travel back in time in the titular time machine to 1986, where they are presented with two options: live their lives exactly the same so as not to disrupt the time-stream, or make better decisions and perhaps improve their dismal lives. Which way do you think they wind up going?

The story and characters are no more developed than in an average Saturday Night Live sketch, but against all odds, the movie works. Its knowing winks to John Cusack's film career, Crispin Glover's charming appearance as the one-armed bellhop doomed to suffer a terrible accident in the past, the unhinged raunchiness of a never-douchier Rob Corrdry, the slobs-vs-snobs ski-slope rivalry right out of Hot Dog The Movie: this stuff just all works, and despite my knowledge that this wasn't a very good movie, I laughed frequently.

It's slight; it's funny; it gets the job done.

Nobody should be particularly proud to have this movie on their resume (except, again, for Rob Corrdry), but it's not really an embarassment, either (Cusack had that last year with 2012).

So, fuck me, you know, I liked it. Even though I know I'm not supposed to.

DVD Review: PUBLIC ENEMIES

It seemed like a can't-lose formula: the director of Heat making a movie about the FBI's pursuit of 1930's bank robbers, starring Johnny Depp as Dillinger and Christian Bale as celebrated G-man Melvin Purvis. By all rights, this should be my favorite movie ever.

Instead, the film is hampered by empty performances, a meandering story, and shoddy cinematography, all of which conspire to render the proceedings bizarrely flaccid. Not even the many scenes of chattering Tommy-gun shootouts can make this movie worthy of the two-hours-and-twenty-minutes investment.

If the movie looked as good as Depp does in his gangster attire, we wouldn't have so much of a problem. Unfortunately, Michael Mann has become enamored of digital cinematography without figuring out how to make it look like a movie, rather than a 1980's-era BBC melodrama. It is especially egregious in the night scenes, where this big studio film looks for all world like kids running around in the back yard with grandpa's camcorder.

The story is ostensibly about Melvin Purvis's pursuit of Dillinger and other criminals. However, Christian Bale and his hinky southen accent don't make much of an impression here. Maybe the historical Purvis really was as devoid of charm and humor as Bale portrays him, and if that's the case maybe they should have played as fast and loose with his character as they did with events (Purvis was not present for half of the events the movie shows him participating in). Depp fares better as the dashing and brash Dillinger, but the role really reveals the limits of his range when he's not sporting outre outifts and silly voices. The fact is, when he doesn't have some goofy gimmicks to fall back on, Johnny Depp is not a particularly intriguing actor. There, I said it; you know where to send the hate mail, right? The rest of the cast manages to make the occasional flash of an impression, but only Marion Cotillard's turn as Dillinger's lady-love lingers in the mind, due mainly to Cotillard's beauty and palpable integrity, not because it's an especially well-written role.

Oh, and the writing! Yes. This movie doesn't even know what the hell it's about. Is it about a manhunt? Is it about a romance? Is it about the early days of the FBI? Is it about a crime spree? What the fuck was Frank Nitti doing in there? How was that even germaine to the fucking story, whatever it was, that this movie was trying to tell? Beats the hell out of me.

This movie is a failure, on every technical and artistic level, and it's a crushing disappointment to anybody who, like me, is fascinated by this period in American criminal history.

It just might be the worst movie in Michael Mann's career, but I haven't seen Miami Vice, so I'll let you know down the road sometime.

Review: RED LIGHT FEVER by Hot Leg

If there was any doubt that Justin Hawkins was the primary creative influence behind the late, lamented The Darkness, it's no longer a matter of debate. Hawkins' reasons for his departure from that band and its ultimate dissolution are subject to debate, but it seems the real reason is that he was tired of having to share his creative vision with four other people, one of whom is his brother and brings all of the contentious baggage that comes with that.

Basically, if you loved The Darkness, you will love this, as it is in every way that matters their third album, only without all of the other guys and their apparently quite useless input (the other Darkness boys have gone on to form Stone Gods, a band remarkable mainly for its staggering dullness). Standout tracks include the singles "I've Met Jesus" and "Cocktails" (the most Darkness-y track). The first track, "Chickens," is notable mainly for the way that it aggressively attempts to alienate as many of Hawkins' last band's lunkhead fans as possible with frenetic synth-noodling and the sort of vocals that Freddie Mercury would envy (it is, naturally, epic).

There's nothing I don't like about this album, except for the fact that no American publisher has released it yet, meaning that you're stuck with two options: an overpriced import copy, or piracy. Do what you will: I won't judge.